Would you rather live above a bar or next to a school?

By Lambeth Hochwald | October 30, 2017 - 3:00PM

For some, the idea of living above a bar is a total nonstarter—just imagine the smell and the noise at night. Then again, living next to a school is no cakewalk, as anyone who has walked past a school at dismissal time can guess. We quizzed five New Yorkers about which they’d prefer if presented with this lose-lose set of options. Their answers just might surprise you:

I'll take a bird's-eye view of bar flies

"Nothing can beat sitting on your fire escape watching people stumbling in and out of a bar. You’ll witness hookups, breakdowns and ultimately climb back in your window feeling better about your choice to stay home. Public urination is a downside, but let’s be honest, it’s New York City, everywhere smells like pee."—Carrie Booze, Nolita

Give me an ultra-local bar

"I’d definitely rather live above a bar. It can be my convenient local hangout. Plus a bar’s hours of operation coincide better with my hours of operation."—Alex Rush, Midtown East

Caption
Jen Corletta

Stay near school

"I currently live next to a school, but I leave early enough to not really bump into a lot of kids, and I work late enough to not see them going home (which is great!). Even on days where I’ve stayed home, they aren’t really noisy. A bar on the other hand—no thanks. My good friend use to live above Pig 'N' Whistle and I’ve heard nightmarish stories!"—Jen Corletta, East Village (pictured above)

Lush life

"I believe the old age saying goes, 'One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. If you happen to bring your kid, check them at the door.' I’ll take my chances with a bowl of bar nuts any day over living above a school."—William Metzger, Upper East Side

For whom the school bells toll

"I’d rather live near a school since I’m not home during the day to be around the commotion of kids. I’m single and not ready to have kids anytime soon, but schools are way quieter than bars any day of the week!"—Emily Erath, Astoria

The verdict: It's a close call, but among these city dwellers, bar-adjacent is the preferred poison.

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