Spoiler alert: On Craigslist, "free rent" = sex

By Lucy Cohen Blatter | August 26, 2015 - 2:59PM

There's no such thing as free rent—and we can prove it. Take a look at the Craiglist shares we found recently offering "free rent." Translation: Sexual favors, please!

You have to have a "clean body" to live for free with this guy on the Lower East Side. It also helps to be "young n pretty" and apparently it's "great 4 exchange student." But at least this guy's not playing coy. "Fully furnished with all the toys." We don't think he's talking model trains here, people.

The headline in the listing for this Williamsburg share says it all: "Free rent for a playful girl in need." This guy's not asking for much. "All I ask for in return is your submissive generosity (yes its [sic] physical)." No need to read between the lines here.

This guy is also looking for someone who's "hygienic" (aren't we all?), but this comes with some perks, too. "I clean up after you and I massage your feet, back as needed," he writes. Wow, we're nearly—no, not really at all—sold. Plus he says he's never done this before, despite starting out his post saying he got a lot of responses last time he posted. Are you trying to tell me these guys aren't actually as trustworthy as they seem?

This guy—who lives in the Bronx and is in his late twenties—is looking for a long-term girlfriend, so he's not a creep, okay? And yeah, this isn't his apartment per se, but it looks a lot like that. This here is a creepy post plus the classic bait-and-switch real estate listing melded into one. That's a Craigslist unicorn, we think.

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