Should your roommate also be a friend?

By Mayra David | August 3, 2015 - 1:59PM

In a city like New York, it's likely you've either had a roommate, currently have one, are looking for one , or are looking to get rid of one. We asked five New Yorkers: Would you rather have a roommate who wants to become friends? Or one who is a complete loner?

Three's not company Right now, living with three other people, I have to say I prefer a loner. That’s how it is in our place now: except for one guy, we all keep to ourselves, and it works out great! We all have different schedules so we can avoid each other. I never see any of them. It sometimes feels like I’m living by myself. Besides, I’m a workaholic, so I don’t really have time for them anyway. —Jonathan, Hamilton Heights (pictured at left)
Keeping business and friendship separate I’ve had so many roommates and it’s different with each, but on the whole, I like to keep to myself and I like them to keep to themselves. That was the beauty of our set-up (brownstone floor-through with bedrooms at opposite ends that each have an entrance). There wasn’t much of a common area, so there was nowhere to hang. At most, we exchange pleasantries in the kitchen. I like feeling like our living arrangement is just a business arrangement. There are rules like paying rent on time, and keeping the place clean for each other. I think when things get friendly, people start slipping on their responsibilities. —Johanna, Upper East Side
Stranger danger I’d prefer them to be friendly and sociable! I don’t want a loner in my house. Who knows what they get up to in their room. They could be sociopaths, plotting things and what-not. I’d like to know the people I live with! —Neda, Harlem (pictured at left)
You had me at hello I definitely like to have a friendly roommate because I am a friendly roommate! I think your living space should be a home, and it should have a nice atmosphere. We don’t have to be best friends, but still: Hello? I chose you to live with me because I liked you when we first met! You were interesting and nice! So why wouldn’t I want to continue to get to know you? Why can’t we be friends? —Krista, Upper East Side
Where Ben and Jerry are all the friends you need I wouldn’t want an unfriendly person, but I would prefer the loner over somebody who wants to be friends. I have friends already. I know you can never have too many, but honestly, when it comes to living together, you do NOT want to live with your friends. When I come home sometimes, all I want to do is shut the world out…that includes shutting people out. Especially people! I don’t want to be in a situation where I might hurt somebody’s feelings just because I don’t want to give them access to me right now. Friends are people who are invested in your life and vice versa, that’s a heavy responsibility! I don’t need that…sometimes I just need Ben and Jerry’s to be my only friends! —Beth, Yorkville

Verdict: Lone wolves for the win.

Roommate Report: Are you better off moving in with a friend — or complete stranger?

Brick Underground articles occasionally include the expertise of, or information about, advertising partners when relevant to the story. We will never promote an advertiser's product without making the relationship clear to our readers.