How to kick a roommate out of your NYC apartment
- Whenever possible, try to have a face-to-face conversation to work out your differences
- If that fails and their name is not on the lease, you can give them 30-days' notice to leave
If you have no choice but to ask your roommate to leave, here’s how to avoid an uncomfortable (and potentially costly) scenario.
iStock
If you, like most people, have ever lived with roommates in New York City, you already know the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. In a perfect world, you would all get along swimmingly; unfortunately, people change and relationships can sour.
Among the more common scenarios are differing lifestyles—maybe you’re past the party-every-night phase of your life, while they’re not. Or perhaps you are having to do more than your fair share of cleaning. Worst of all, they might not be paying their share of the rent or utilities. Whatever the reason, you’ll know when it is time to cut ties, which could be a relief to both (or all) of you.
“Real nightmare roommates do exist,” said Matt Hutchinson, communications director at roommate search site SpareRoom. However, most situations are typically pretty tame. “For the most part, the other person is an OK person who you just don’t happen to click with."
In such cases, your best approach is to attempt to communicate and reach a mutually satisfactory resolution.
After all, finding another apartment in NYC is always challenging—and costly. You could also be on the line for their share of the rent. And there's no guarantee the next person will work out any better than the current one.
But if it has become clear that you and your roommate are not a good match, and you have no choice but to part ways, here’s how to avoid an uncomfortable and expensive scenario.
[Editor's note: An earlier version of this post was published in August 2025. We are presenting it again with updated information for July 2026.]
Know your legal rights
Before you say anything to your roommate, you'll want to figure out who's actually on the lease—because that determines how this plays out.
If you are not named on the lease, you’re the one who is out. If you’re both on the lease, you’re both on the hook for the rent, meaning you will need to negotiate your way out officially. In extreme cases, such as when a roommate has been charged with a violent crime, you can get an order of protection that requires someone to move out.
But what happens if you’re on the lease and they’re not?
According to the Metropolitan Council on Housing, a tenant advocacy organization, you can’t simply kick out a roommate if they have lived in the apartment for at least 30 days or paid you rent.
In the absence of a written agreement, a roommate who is not on the lease is considered month-to-month, and you can legally ask them to leave as long as you provide 30-days' notice.
That’s why Kelly Ringston, a real estate attorney at Braverman Greenspun, typically recommends a one- to three-month trial period until you’ve determined how well you live together as roommates.
“If you have a month-to-month roommate, you can terminate their tenancy at the end of any rental cycle, upon proper notice, for whatever reason—i.e., 'you’re weird, please leave,’” she said.
Plan for the financial fallout
Even if you've got the legal right to ask someone to go, it's worth pricing out what that actually costs you. Replacing a roommate in NYC isn't always quick or easy.
"If they agree to move out, the question is how easy would it be to replace that person," said Rory Bolger, a broker at Brown Harris Stevens. "Hypothetically, you might need to lower the rent by a couple of hundred dollars to make it more enticing for a new person to come in."
And remember: You're still liable for the full rent until you find someone new—with no guarantee that person will be any easier to live with.
Have an honest conversation
Once you've decided it's time, resist the urge to hint around the issue or wait for the "perfect" moment.
"The healthiest way is to just tell the truth,” Bolger said. “Don’t make it personal. Just tell them that it seems clear that you’re not a healthy match and you think they should find another place.”
Timing matters, too. As in, don't put this uncomfortable conversation off until you've mentally checked out—which only makes it harder.
"When that happens, your roommate might not see it coming, and things are harder to repair," said Dr. Lynn Saladino, a clinical psychologist and health and wellness consultant for Mirador Real Estate.
Most importantly, focus on the transactional aspect of your relationship.
"When you strip it down to the essentials, an apartment share is a financial transaction," Hutchinson said. "Make it about ending the financial relationship rather than saying you don't like them."
While some folks find it impossible to remain friends following such an ordeal, others do manage to find their way back to each other after the initial period of anger—but only if you don't make the split personal.
And remember, whether you and your roommate started off as friends or strangers, always treat them as you would want to be treated when you broach the topic of them leaving. "Have the courage to be firm about what you need, but treat the other person with respect, too," Hutchinson said.
Set expectations early (so this doesn't happen again)
Ringston always recommends creating a roommate agreement, given how quickly some of these situations can go south. “It’s better for all parties to have an agreement in writing,” she said, so that everyone is aware of the rules and expectations from the get-go.
Saladino stressed the need to make a thorough plan in advance for how you want to address your roommate issues, including having regularly scheduled “check-in” meetings with your roommate(s) to see how things are going, which could correct those issues early—and “set a precedent of communicating on things rather than pushing them down.” Plus, such chats could reduce any fear you may have about bringing problems up, “and ensure you’re catching each other at a time you’re both ready to listen,” she added.
Saladino also cautioned that you should not assume that because you’re friends with your roommate, living together will be a breeze.
"Even with a friend you know well, it's a good idea to go over a list of lifestyle necessities and deal breakers before signing a lease,” she said. “There may be more to consider than you think since you likely know your friend in a different context."
If you have to evict them
If they have violated the agreement or there is none, you have the right to require your roommate to leave.
“Essentially, you’re their landlord,” Ringston said. The first thing you’ll need to do is serve a notice of termination, notifying them that you’re ending their tenancy. If you can’t afford the services of a lawyer to draft one for you, you can do it yourself on the New York City Housing Court website.
According to Ringston, an uninvolved party must serve the notice, ideally by hiring a process server. Pricing is typically based on the number of times they need to return to serve the notice, with a range of a few hundred to a few thousand dollars. You can find one here.
You'll need to give your roommate one complete rental cycle's notice to vacate, whether it's a week-to-week or month-to-month arrangement.
Of course, co-existing can be uncomfortable during that time, so you may want to find friends or family to stay with for the time being. That said, you might not trust the person to leave the apartment in the same condition it was found.
In the rare case the person refuses to leave, it is essential to refuse any further rent money from them. “If I’ve said that your tenancy ends on a certain date and then I accept next month’s rent, I’m effectively extending their tenancy,” Ringston said. “Getting an eviction can take time, and since you can’t collect rent, which you probably need to afford the apartment, you can end up in a very difficult situation.”
Don't change the locks (yet)
You can (should) expect to garner a wide range of potential responses—some roommates might just be angry, while others could become threatening and dangerous.
“You have to keep yourself and your things as safe as possible,” Saladino said. She recommended telling a roommate who seems particularly upset, “Let’s just take time to cool off and let me know when you're ready to talk.”
If things become so contentious that you’re afraid that your belongings will be trashed, get a lock on your bedroom door, Ringston advised, but don't lock your roommate out of the apartment. Housing court judges won’t take kindly to it.
“You’ll be subject to criminal and civil penalties,” she said. “You’re subject to criminal fines up to $10,000, civil penalties up to $100 a day, and treble damages, meaning liability for three times the tenant’s actual damages, and yup, you could even end up in jail.”
If the situation is so bad that you need to lock up your stuff, maybe you should be the one to up and leave. Of course, that’s easier said than done—especially if you’re the leaseholder.
What if you fear the person will become violent? Get the police involved immediately and try to obtain a restraining order against them, Ringston said. Only then are you permitted to lock out your menacing roommate.
If all else fails, take them to court
If your roommate doesn’t leave on their own volition after the termination date is up, you can take them to housing court. The first step is to file a holdover petition, a type of legal action commenced when a tenant, or in this case a roommate, has overstayed the term of their tenancy.
“If the tenant/roommate does not vacate the apartment by the date set forth in the first notice, he/she is ‘holding over.' If you win your case, you get a judgment of possession, meaning you have the right to the apartment, and a warrant of eviction, which means that the other person has to get out,” Ringston said.
If hiring an attorney is beyond your budget, "having a lawyer is always a good idea, but landlord-tenant court is made to be accessible to pro se litigants, so it can be navigated without one," Ringston said, adding that the cost depends on many variables, including the complexity of the case.
“The majority of the time, you get together with the court to agree on a date that [your roommate has] to leave by,” she explained. And usually, they will leave once a judge has issued an eviction order. “It’s not often that you have to have someone physically removed,” she said. “If you don’t have a legal right to be there, most rational people will understand that it’s the end of the road.”
Because housing court can be time-consuming and stressful for all parties, it's worth avoiding it altogether. “The biggest weapon you have when it comes to roommate dealings is communication,” Hutchinson said. “Keep talking while you're living together. Don’t just wait till you’re so angry you can’t even look at each other.”
As uncomfortable as it can be to ask your roommate to move out, it’s a conversation you shouldn’t put off for long.
“Your living environment means everything—it’s crucial to your health,” Saladino said. “If it’s a really bad situation, you have to get out of it. Sometimes you have to put yourself first.”
—Earlier versions of this article contained reporting and writing by Alanna Schubach, Leah Hochbaum Rosner, and Nikki M. Mascali
