Veronica X.

So your fabulous new building has a fabulous holiday party (!). It's your chance to meet and greet your new neighbors, set up in-building playdates, find out who the best handyman is, and maybe make some new friends. Or not.

Mover-speak for the uninitiated:

Closing on a new apartment? Listen closely.

Neighborly advice for the owners of the apartment that just won't sell.

• Triathalon training facility Translation: Lap pool twice the length of your bathtub with a stationary bike nearby
• $2,000.00 per square foot new construction Translation: $1,500 per square foot resale less than 2 years later, if you're really lucky
• Luxury condominium living in the heart Brooklyn Translation: Proposed conversion of 'ghost towers' to affordable housing. 
• Breaking ground in the fall (of 2009) Translation: It is fall of 2010 and the

Does a buyer in Manhattan need to use truth serum? No, just make sure the beloved nanny/housekeeper is around during your final walk through.