Openthedoor-man

Ah, ah, ACHOOOO! Excuse me. I just fictitiously sneezed all over my computer screen.

Now let’s apply that same sneeze into a real setting. How about the lobby? Or better yet, the entrance to one, perhaps a mere space of approximately 10 feet wide and 12 or 13 feet across.

While some may feel that’s the exact size of their studio apartment, it’s still considered a small area in which germs can easily spread.

And so another year is in the books. An interesting one at that.

First off, I was given this fabulous opportunity by the Brick to unabashedly express myself in my role of doorman as I detailed all kinds of different scenarios and topics associated with the job.

In fact, it seems like only yesterday that I decided to call myself Openthedoor-man and post a comment regarding another doorman, one who was Twittering up-to-the-minute happenings right from his lobby.

Although you might think most doormen prefer the day shift over the night, it really depends on the guy. A family man might push hard for the day, to be home in time for supper. Meanwhile, not having anyone to go home to, a single doorman might not mind working the night.

I know it might seem like the purpose of this column is to complain about my job, and it’s true that I can touch a few nerves here and there. Sometimes it feels as if I’m the Kanye West of doormen--liked, hated, and liked again.

But today, with Thanksgiving in mind, I am simply reflecting on my title of doorman and the years of service I have put in, and just showing how thankful I truly am in the form of an open letter to all.

To Whom It May Concern:

“Deez chil’ren hav no respeck-t for their par-unts. But sometimes me hav to blame de par-unts because they too sof wit de kidz. That’s why me no play games wit dem. Sometimes you hav to be tuff. But in de end, they still luv me you nah. Look at me? I picked dem up from sk-ool and giv em a little snack. Around tr-ee o’clock or so me started to cook for dem. I then clean-d up a bit e-round de house. Suddenly it becomes six or seven tur-ty and me hav-unt gwon home yet because me hav to bathe them now. And de par-unts iz home."