Elle Bee

The joy of finding another place to buy in such short order—after three days of searching and looking at fewer than 10 apartments—was not tempered by writing a big check (10% down) at my contract signing.  The prospect, however, of pulling together another co-op board application was daunting, as was the process of updating all my financials for Wells Fargo.

It was a happy accident that Sidney, my broker, suggested we return to the West 181^st street area, aka Hudson Heights. I had liked the location, which reminded me of a Parisian enclave with its leafy trees and trellised stone steps.

Within a couple of months after the Brooklyn apartment fiasco, I decided to stop pouting and start looking for a new place.

In truth, it wasn’t so much an act of revitalization as desperation: I wanted to get the deal done before I had to file income taxes. As a freelancer, my lender required I show maximize income, which meant minimizing my deductions—a business decision that in 2011 cost me an extra $12,000, and nearly sent my teeth-gritting accountant to the dentist.

Finding, securing and losing an apartment, I decided, was a lot like running. It takes forever to build up to a five-mile run, and it takes one week of inactivity to lose all you've gained.  

And so, once I quit running—running after financing, co-op approvals, titles … after agents, lawyers and appraisers—the denouement of my Brooklyn apartment purchase went down pretty quickly. 

Once I recovered from the co-op board interview and the gamut of feelings following it—shock and awe, and then indignation—Darren, my attorney, and I came up with an exit plan.

He believed that failure to disclose the financials and the escrow requirement was enough to ditch the contract and demand return of my deposit. I agreed, and he got to work on a withdrawal letter.

To be honest, I was relieved.

On a Thursday about two weeks after Karen, my broker, delivered my co-op board application, I received a phone call from someone introducing himself as Kingsview Co-op’s private investigator.

I had a fluttery chill in my chest. Had I misrepresented something in my board application? Had my accountant taken too many deductions? Was I on Candid Camera?