Craig Roche

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m very picky about what I look for in a tenant, and chances are you aren’t it. (Sorry.)

Likewise, if you came with a broker, I’ll let you pass--because if you’re willing to pay $3,000 for a few hours’ work, you probably won’t be as patient as I’d like when things go wrong.

So what kind of tenants am I looking for?

Ever since I was a child growing up in Clinton Hill, I’d dreamed of living in Brooklyn Heights, specifically on Garden Place, often dubbed by brokers "the nicest block in Brooklyn."  Growing up, a number of my friends lived there, and the contrast between my family’s historic, if run down, brownstone in a pre-gentrified area, and the well-renovated mansions with gaslights and pretty facades fueled an unstoppable teenaged lust for real estate. 

Have you seen the ad for my apartment?

No?

Excellent – my strategy is working!

I will never advertise my apartments on Craigslist.  And your broker will never hear of them either.

Here are a few reasons I don't work with brokers:

Lessons from a Small Landlord is a new bi-weekly column penned by a real-life NYC landlord whose pseudonym is Craig Roche.

In an ideal world without lawyers, apartment leases would be very short: “Tenant promises to pay $X per month for the use of the apartment, and landlord and tenant promise to behave reasonably.”

Plenty of tenants rent apartments or shares this way, but usually they know each other first. In the real world, for everyone else, lawyers write 10 pages attempting to codify what "reasonable" means.