NYC Real(i)ty Speak: Messages from outer(borough) space

We get it.  Your Bronx/Brooklyn/Queens/Staten Island pad is PALATIAL and you love it there, you really, really do.... Here is what you say--and what you don't.

• "We bought a kick-ass place in Williamsburg... and I am the only parent at my son's school who doesn't have a tattoo on my face."
• "You should SEE my new condo in Bay Terrace....to get to work I take the LIRR to Penn Station, then the E train 5 stops or so to switch to the 6 for 2 stops and then the crosstown bus from Lexington to York Avenue and then I walk from 68th Street to 72nd Street."
• "City Island is like a little slice of New England in the Bronx...  Lowell, MA like in the movie 'The Boxer', not Cape Cod, MA."
• "Our Victorian in Stapleton is being meticulously restored...  but it has been difficult to find Victorian-era window grates, not to mention that the bulletproof glass is an anachronism." 
• "I am moving back to my parents' house in Great Kills...emphasis on KILLS, not Great!"

Veronica X. is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She has finally found an apartment big enough for her family, books, and shoes and is now in the process of renovating it.