NYC Real(i)ty Speak: Putting on a show for the showing

By Veronica X. | June 24, 2010 - 12:34PM

When you've been to as many open houses as I have, you start to hear between the lie--um, lines:

"There are other interested parties." Translation: This place has been on the market for nine months and you are the first person to come to an open house.

"We are considering several bids." Translation: All offers are 20% below owner's bottom line.

"We are in contract but there are some issues." Translation: The board package may as well have been filled out in crayon.

"This is a very motivated seller." Translation: The apartment is grossly over-priced and the agent cannot reason with the owner.

"The owners are expanding their family." Translation: They just had twins and have already bought a house in Westchester so they need to sell yesterday.

"Veronica X." is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She is presently looking to buy an apartment big enough for her family, her books, and her shoes - not necessarily in that order.

See more N.Y.C. Real(i)ty Speaks.

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