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After reading a few alarming tales of drive-by appraisals in New York City, we asked Manhattan appraisal guru Jonathan Miller for a reality check.

Here's what he said:

1. Your paranoia is completely justified: Very likely, your appraiser has no idea what your place is worth.

The appraisal process quality has gotten much worse since the credit crunch began. National retail banks are nearly wholly dependent on appraisal management companies (AMCs) to handle the appraisal process, because banks closed their in-house appraisal departments as "cost centers" during the boom.

• One luxury building's strike plan (StreetEasy forum)
• Condo owner turns apartment into sex-party zone (NY Post)
• Apartment owner posts entire gut renovation estimate online for feedback (StreetEasy forum)
• Only two apartments find buyers at city auction (Malcolm Carter)
• Is a condo liable for drycleaning due to water damage? (Brownstoner forum)
• 5 most common complaints of co-op & condo owners (Habitat Mag)
• What boards can do to boost resale values (Habitat Mag)

"I have an extremely helpful neighbor in my loft building. He markets in New Jersey instead of NYC and gets me food, household cleaners, etc., frequently, saving me energy and money.

If there is a snowstorm, he picks up my meds or my immediate needs in groceries locally.

He cat sits when I take a few days away and carries heavy things up and down from my basement storage room as I cannot handle the stairs.

When I am feeling under the weather, he picks up my mail and leaves it under my door.

A NY Times story today quotes a Manhattan real estate lawyer who says bed bugs are "the deep dark secret of co-ops and condos."

We agree. But there's also another deep dark secret surrounding the main topic of the story: bed bug sniffing dogs.

Here's something downtown and Midtown developers may want to start writing into their marketing materials.

According to 311 records for 2009, the fewest residential noise complaints in Manhattan emanated from the neighborhoods comprising Community Board 5 (Midtown), and Community Board 1, a.k.a. Tribeca, the Financial District, Battery Park City and the Seaport.

Toting up just 403 and 436 complaints respectively, these relatively quiet zones logged around 93 percent fewer residential noise complaints than the loudest area--Washington Heights/Inwood--where 6,439 grievances were filed last year.

“It was ridiculously loud,” recalls former Washington Heights resident Alinca Hamilton, who says loud music was a big culprit. “You would have thought you were at a Bachata concert.”

About three years ago, we had a very unfortunate incident happen with a careless nanny in front of the doorman in which my then-three-year-old son’s safety was at stake.

As a thank-you to my doorman for basically rescuing my son from the situation and filling me in, I gave him a package of $100 worth of lottery tickets and scratch-offs with a note saying, “I hope this makes you as lucky as you made me.”

Ever since then, we’ve had an unspoken understanding.

Too often, neighbors communicate only in elevator soundbites or through bared teeth when something’s wrong. That’s not exactly the stuff strong social bonds are made of. A little lobby-side vino is, we think, a better cultivator of neighborliness.

It doesn’t have to cost a fortune, and you don't have to wait for the holidays.

“Two times a year our building gives a wine and cheese party sponsored by a local wine store,” says Leslie Modell Rosenthal, a Warburg Realty managing director who lives in the East 70s. “They hold it in the lobby so if shareholders are in a hurry, they can grab a glass and a quick conversation.”

All vertical villages are not alike--just look at what residents are saying on their buildings’ online bulletin boards.

“On the West Coast you’ll find more people writing recommendations about restaurants or other lifestyle things. In New York you find more ‘Type A’ postings—more evidence of people living with more time pressures,” says Jerry Kestenbaum, whose BuildingLink online communications tool is used by around 800 luxury apartment buildings in 17 states.

Looking for help to get through the day, he says, New Yorkers tend to ask neighbors for referrals to tutors, housekeepers, babysitters, and dog walkers.

Q. A co-op board member authorized his children to place a huge charity collection can for Haiti on the doorman's desk in the lobby. I think it's a nice gesture but totally inappropriate especially in a family building--pretty soon we're going to end up with 25 collection cans on the front desk.

What policies do other buildings have on fundraising activities by residents in the lobby?